Accommodating change

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Reflecting back the client’s words showing trends in behavior can sometimes create awareness for the client.Another good tool for creating awareness is journaling.People who are assertive stand up for what they believe, want and need in a way that is strong yet not overpowering or disrespectful.Assertive behavior balances the courage to speak one’s mind with consideration for other’s feelings and perspectives.If assertiveness allows us to thrive and to avoid the negative effects of over-accommodating, then why don’t more people do it?Shifting perspective from accommodating to assertive can often be a very challenging.Assertive behavior is one where boundaries are clearly set in a way that honors self and others.Assertiveness safe guards our emotional and physical needs and helps us avoid all of the negative consequences of over-accommodating.

How many children are taught to say “no,” to allow a friend to figure it out on his or her own, or to disagree with someone in authority?What are the signs that accommodating is sabotaging our life?When a person becomes conditioned to be accommodating, the lines between the person and others can become blurred.This does not mean one should disregard the feelings and needs of others completely; it means one should examine how the perspective of accommodating others is supporting or hindering us in life. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines accommodating as, “willing to please: helpful, obliging.” The list of related words includes “over-indulgent” and “permissive”.Accommodating can be positive, and even honorable when done in proper measure.

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