Dating a man who has been sexually abused
Tell her you’re open to hearing any parts of her story that she feels comfortable telling you. You don’t want to put her on the spot or pepper her with questions, but let her know you care and want to be there for her in any way that feels good for her.When your girlfriend was abused, she was forced into doing something without her consent.Her consent literally did not matter to the person abusing her.After an experience like that, it can feel to a survivor that her consent never matters.
Ask her if she’s aware of any situations or words that tend to make her feel pressured, and see if the two of you can brainstorm ways to relieve that pressure.You sound like a sensitive person who wouldn’t want to put pressure on your girlfriend to do anything she doesn’t want to do.That being said, the topic of pressure can feel exceedingly delicate for many sexual abuse survivors.Keep in mind that asking for and giving consent can actually be really beautiful. Together, come up with phrases that sound special to both of you.And of course, don’t do anything without getting a clear go-ahead from her.