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The majority of gossip, backstabbing, or fighting that I see happens over men who have managed to instill in two women some sense of infatuation.
To lose a close friend over this, especially one of your own race and life experience when people like that are hard to come by on this predominantly white campus, is foolish.
I want to close the imaginary Black Girl Burn Book forever and have true solidarity with the women who I see home within, but one person alone does not make a community.
It will take all of us leaving this behind to make a difference.
That fight for attention is nonsensical because it upholds the system that devalues us as romantic partners, gives too much value to the people who date us, and causes us to cut friendships and other relationships that sustained us before romance. Race aside, no one’s only close friend or only source of support should be their significant other.
Men are a topic of conversation, an object of desire, and also the greatest stumbling block on this campus for black women.In my own personal relationships, I have felt that people have expected me not to be fragile or calm, which I tend to be in relationships, because they come in with preconceived ideas of what black womanhood looks like.Therefore, when there is a man who seeks to date a black woman, we recognize the scarcity of his kind and begin to fight within each other for his attention.However, the ideal of universal black girl solidarity on campus isn’t always the case.Because solidarity is more than waving and because most black people on this campus socialize together, our interactions go beyond waving at people we do not know.