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Guilt weighs heavy on my mind every time I drop off the kids or when I’m not around. I’ve been listening to motivational speeches every morning during my morning run.In the advice from entrepreneurs, engaging speakers, and occasionally a few fictional characters, each extolls the same nugget about living in the past: It’s never healthy or constructive. There’s no way to change what has already occurred. The past involves guilt and must be forgotten to move forward. Sure, I still feel twinges of remorse about not being around to tuck them in every night or being the face to greet them first thing in the morning, but every day gets a little more comfortable as the entire family settles into the new normal.The real superhuman gift I’d wish for after a radioactive spider bite or gamma ray bath is the ability to see into the future.It would make life a hell of a lot easier to foresee the consequences of my decisions — particularly that of separating from my wife.Little things like none of the windows working properly or the washer and dryer only handling one towel at a time.The ex and I split in September 2017 but I didn’t find a place and move out until December of that year.
Within a week, he informed me that she was texting him constantly and putting him under a lot of pressure and he was feeling guilty.I was a little anxious when he eventually texted me.He said things were really bad between them and they had loads to sort out.For those three months, my visions of life as a single dad involved sitting alone in a living room eating takeout surrounded by only my stuff.It wasn’t true: Living alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Sure, I miss my kids, but the rest of my downtime is dedicated to new writing projects, working out (I’m training for a Tough Mudder), reading more and filling the time working side hustles and starting every project I’ve put off for the past few years. Financial concerns, problems around the house, kid issues, and every issue that comes with being a husband and wife and parents.