Saw girlfriend on dating site
However, how quickly you get into a relationship isn't a measure of how desirable you are. It's not necessarily the most attractive or likable people who get into relationships the most easily.Your ex just happened to stumble upon someone else before you did. When my ex first got a new girlfriend, I feared that it endangered the friendship we formed post-breakup.With the second (non) ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it.I know I'm not alone in feeling devastated over an ex moving on.The fact that you broke up wasn't a failure on your part; things just didn't work out, and they might not work out with this new person either. People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason. Your ex's new significant other is not your replacement.Your ex moving on is not a testament to your inadequacy. Your relationship was unique and special and nothing can ever take away from that.
Discomfort with an ex publicly pairing up again is also acknowledged in pop culture; after Marnie breaks up with Charlie on , she obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos."Most people don't want to feel expendable, rejected, or out of control," sex and relationships therapist Cathy Beaton tells Bustle.
A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else.
Under that logic, I've never gotten over anyone in my life. After I last spoke to another fling I never even officially dated, I made sure to unfollow him on Facebook so I didn't have a similar experience.
Beaton would advise people who are upset when their exes move on: "Put this person in your past where he belongs, think of what you've learned from the experience, and get busy finding another partner who appreciates you."Your ex did not get an upgrade.
The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning.